Breaking Out...

     A shell is a tough outer exterior that is very difficult to penetrate. People can erect shells around their inner self as a result of some type of hurt in their childhood and carry that protective shield into adulthood. But who and what is it really protecting us from?

     It can appear that we have "tough skin" to other people but not to GOD...for HE sees all and knows all hearts.  It is clearly close to impossible and very tough to minister and get close to a person who is "All shelled up."   

     Another way we could barricade ourselves is by building up "walls" around a hurting heart. It's all about the same thing.  We build up a defense mechanism over the years because we can not bare a hurt that deeply impacted our lives.  Also for some reason those who experience trauma as a child put up certain outer characteristics.

     "The walls I have put up in my life had withdrawn me from the life to be who God has really made me. I have learned that it is okay to be me, flaws and all. God still loves me and wants my light to shine."

     He has not made us to hid our lights under a bushel, but to display His light in a way that shines for all the world to see.

     Sin can block the light and impair our fellowship with God and with others as well.  It is time for us to trust HIM completely.  As we let down our defenses HE then can repair and build us back up restoring our lives in the character and image of Jesus.

     God desires for us to come fully to him.  He knows everything about us hidden or laid bare before Him.

     Their is a balance to be found in Christ. We can be bound up for years with many walls of defense around us. I believe God wants us to break out and get free of all structures we have created to protect out souls from abuse and hurt.

     I dont know why I am writing all this, or if it means anything to anyone else.

     What I want is to be a real person, not a duplicate or form I had crafted around my heart that is false...

     How can we ever grow if we are stunted. In our weakness HE is strong.  

     ~I pray for Godly characteristics intended to make me strong in the Lord to come forth in Jesus name.  I do not believe that God has made a mistake. That is a lie and is false. I pray that I will be the person that God can use to display HIS grace. Amen.~

     For a very long time I had hid my self.  Childhood trauma caused me to hide my deep hurt. It caused me to say I was not as good as everyone else...that I did not deserve to have friends and did not have a chance of happiness in my future.  A part of me died and didn't want to live but hide under rock. I succeeded in doing just that. I just don't want that anymore. I want to is okay to trust!

     God has his own way of breaking down those walls, we can be stubborn until the day we die, but for me personally I want all HE has for me. Its time to learn and grow and trust HIM with all my heart.


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