Sunday, December 25, 2016

Merry Christmas from Richard

Merry Christmas to each of you who take the time to read my blog posts. It means a lot for me to be able to express myself through blogging/writing. You are the ones who see me when I am soaring through the clouds, as well as the ones who see me fall hard.

This holiday season has been quite a difficult challenge for me. I had been in the hospital on the week of Thanksgiving from not taking my meds correctly, that threw my whole life in I am thankful for my psychiatrist of 8 years who has patiently seen me through my lowest and highest. I am thankful for my dad who no matter what who has encouraged me when I run to him. He is a tender and patient man who I love as my father.  It is very difficult and humbling at these low points in my life to pick up and carry on with the responsibilities that God has given me right now in my life. There are good days and there are bad days, but I must carry on,  and release those heavy burdens to the LORD JESUS, taking baby steps daily.

It is so easy to run but tough to stay and face things and try to change what I can.

On the bright side of things, it is a time of season for giving and not thinking about self and the problems it has. A time to remember who it is really all about, and that is JESUS.

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Breaking Out...

     A shell is a tough outer exterior that is very difficult to penetrate. People can erect shells around their inner self as a result of some type of hurt in their childhood and carry that protective shield into adulthood. But who and what is it really protecting us from?

     It can appear that we have "tough skin" to other people but not to GOD...for HE sees all and knows all hearts.  It is clearly close to impossible and very tough to minister and get close to a person who is "All shelled up."   

     Another way we could barricade ourselves is by building up "walls" around a hurting heart. It's all about the same thing.  We build up a defense mechanism over the years because we can not bare a hurt that deeply impacted our lives.  Also for some reason those who experience trauma as a child put up certain outer characteristics.

     "The walls I have put up in my life had withdrawn me from the life to be who God has really made me. I have learned that it is okay to be me, flaws and all. God still loves me and wants my light to shine."

     He has not made us to hid our lights under a bushel, but to display His light in a way that shines for all the world to see.

     Sin can block the light and impair our fellowship with God and with others as well.  It is time for us to trust HIM completely.  As we let down our defenses HE then can repair and build us back up restoring our lives in the character and image of Jesus.

     God desires for us to come fully to him.  He knows everything about us hidden or laid bare before Him.

     Their is a balance to be found in Christ. We can be bound up for years with many walls of defense around us. I believe God wants us to break out and get free of all structures we have created to protect out souls from abuse and hurt.

     I dont know why I am writing all this, or if it means anything to anyone else.

     What I want is to be a real person, not a duplicate or form I had crafted around my heart that is false...

     How can we ever grow if we are stunted. In our weakness HE is strong.  

     ~I pray for Godly characteristics intended to make me strong in the Lord to come forth in Jesus name.  I do not believe that God has made a mistake. That is a lie and is false. I pray that I will be the person that God can use to display HIS grace. Amen.~

     For a very long time I had hid my self.  Childhood trauma caused me to hide my deep hurt. It caused me to say I was not as good as everyone else...that I did not deserve to have friends and did not have a chance of happiness in my future.  A part of me died and didn't want to live but hide under rock. I succeeded in doing just that. I just don't want that anymore. I want to is okay to trust!

     God has his own way of breaking down those walls, we can be stubborn until the day we die, but for me personally I want all HE has for me. Its time to learn and grow and trust HIM with all my heart.

Sunday, December 11, 2016

The Best Gift I can ever have...


 I have written about a lot of things in my blog, but there is one treasured blessing that I must say I have failed to acknowledge is the greatest gift God has given to me, and that is my marriage.  I have taken it for granted many times over the last six years.

     For someone who deals daily with a mental illness it makes my marriage a much harder toil than it really is.  God has given my wife and I, a great and precious love that can be shattered if not nourished and preserved in prayer...

     Many times I have fallen into the trap that the enemy sets up to tear this precious gift of love out of God's hands.

     I have to be vigilant in the devil's schemes, because he hates marriage as much as God hates divorce.  Satan is the culprit of many failed marriages. I pray for the peace and protection of my own marriage and my precious bride...

     I thank God for my dear wife, who relentlessly loves me "beyond" this malady that I fight daily. This blog post I dedicate to Fonda, my beautiful wife, my gift from Heaven...

     Apart from my salvation experience her love is the greatest gift that I have.

     I thank God for the hard worker that she is. She goes above and beyond the call of duty where I am unable to hold down a job.  She toils greatly and God graciously provides all our needs in glory in Christ Jesus.

     I thank God for the blessing over our home and family.  The atmosphere of peace radiates from her heart into every ornament she has placed in our safe haven called a home.

     I thank God for her willingness to embrace me when all others push me aside.

     I place my marriage into God Almighty's strong hands, and I ask you Father to protect my wife in every way wherever her daily path may lead her.  Embrace her in a way that only she knows that is from you alone. 

     Help me to cherish and love her as Christ Jesus does for His own bride,  I so long for that great marriage, but more than that I pray for restoration where the enemy of our souls has tried to separate Fonda and I on many attempts. I pray for a deeper unity and a precious intimacy that can only come from spending time with you God that nothing can tear us out of God's hands.

     I have been greatly blessed with her love. I don't want to miss one minute without it.

   Thank you Jesus for taking those blinders off, how can we treasure something we cannot see. You have manifested your perfect love for me...

     This Christmas is a precious reminder of 1 Corinthians 13...

I may speak in the languages of humans and of angels. But if I don’t have love, I am a loud gong or a clashing cymbal. 2 I may have the gift to speak what God has revealed, and I may understand all mysteries and have all knowledge. I may even have enough faith to move mountains. But if I don’t have love, I am nothing. 3 I may even give away all that I have and give up my body to be burned.[a] But if I don’t have love, none of these things will help me.

4 Love is patient. Love is kind. Love isn’t jealous. It doesn’t sing its own praises. It isn’t arrogant. 5 It isn’t rude. It doesn’t think about itself. It isn’t irritable. It doesn’t keep track of wrongs. 6 It isn’t happy when injustice is done, but it is happy with the truth. 7 Love never stops being patient, never stops believing, never stops hoping, never gives up.

8 Love never comes to an end. There is the gift of speaking what God has revealed, but it will no longer be used. There is the gift of speaking in other languages, but it will stop by itself. There is the gift of knowledge, but it will no longer be used. 9 Our knowledge is incomplete and our ability to speak what God has revealed is incomplete. 10 But when what is complete comes, then what is incomplete will no longer be used. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, thought like a child, and reasoned like a child. When I became an adult, I no longer used childish ways. 12 Now we see a blurred image in a mirror. Then we will see very clearly. Now my knowledge is incomplete. Then I will have complete knowledge as God has complete knowledge of me.

13 So these three things remain: faith, hope, and love. But the best and greatest one of these is love...

For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

Friday, December 9, 2016

Merry Christmas

This season can be a time of giving. Giving of yourself, your time , your talents...

I am constantly reminded of my many blessings around me this year...My beautiful wife, and my healthy kids, my home and all that I have. I pray that I do not take them for granted for they could be here one season and gone the next. The treasures we store here on earth are fading fast but the true treasure is within us.  The treasures we have in our heart lasts for eternity...

I have put writing on the backburner for several months. I pray that the Holy Spirit will once again prompt me, use me, inspire me and teach me to write what God would have for me to say.

My prayer is for you to see the light of his glory in this Holiday Season.

Count your blessings and let the love of Christ's birth shine down on you....


Nothing can Separate Us...

 No matter what you have gone through on this earth since the day you have been born - can rip you apart from the Father's heart. He has...