Monday, November 30, 2015

Its the Most LONELIEST Time of the Year...

      Remember that old Christmas classic?!  With the one exception is that loneliest should be wonderful....Why are you not having a wonderful Christmas every year? Maybe mom and dad are gone...maybe you are the only living relative..There is a whole slew of excuses to moan and groan like a scrooge. Maybe you once had some much to live for and now you do not feel like living anymore...Depression has took over and your heart is hurting so much, that you ache from what once way...

     I pray that this post may reach at least one person who doesn't have anything left to live for. maybe you think of yourself as a book that has been written and read.  The Lord wants you to know that He never ended your life. If you are alive there is always something to live for...It might be a grand opportunity to volunteer or serve in a community service.  

     No matter what, if you are alive then God has not finished with you yet!!!  Give more of  your heart to God than ever before.  Let him be the writer, there are still many more pages and chapters to your book...

     The holiday season is the best time to get the focus off of yourself. DON'T GIVE UP!!!

Friday, November 13, 2015

Obeying the Call!!

     "My biggest downfall is not praying like I should. I confess this here and now to God and ask for His mercy in forgiveness, in not praying like I know I should be doing."

     It just seems that I get easily distracted in the events of the day and at times fail to even try.  

     For me it is easy to get my eyes on Him in worship, but having a heart stirred to compassionate intercession for others, is what the Father looks for...for someone to stand in the gap as His Spirit leads pray that hedge of protection...

     In every christian's life, prayer is one of the toughest things to be committed daily to.  

     There are seasons in life when our prayer life seems to be barren and dry.. We know we are not where we should be in praying for others... 

     We desperately need a strong touch of God's Spirit to awaken our heart to intercession! Now is not the time or place to have a dormant prayer life.

      Dormant is defined as inactive, as in slumber, inoperative. Let us be sober-minded and alert to intercession.

     The enemy of our souls has set out to destroy us from making time to pray and actually doing it. If we really get down to it, how many of us would confess this.  

     Worship is not prayer. Worship is getting our focus redirected, thus getting our eyes off of ourselves and going into the very throne-room of God coming before Him in worship and praise.   The next step is intercession for the needs of others.   why stop at worshiping?   Divine communication with God  is like allowing that incense to rise to His throne laying our petitions down at His feet!!

      Prayer is giving of yourself. How many of us have that problem? We pray selfishly instead of making time to pray for other's needs.. Our motives are not rooted deeply in praying the way God intends. One sentence prayers are not going to get it .  when we get to heaven, we will be held accountable for our prayerlessness and not lifting up the true needs for others. 

     Do you believe your prayers will not be answered?? How many say,  "I will pray for you," and never do??? Your prayer could be a big difference in someone elses life!!  

     Father please help me, I need a deep reworking of my heart, to see the needs of the world, and to lift up the people around me. Open my eyes to the needs of the world around me, and help me develop such a compassion that I am drawn by Your complete love to intercede for all people.  I need the Holy Spirit to help me to pray like I should. Come Holy Spirit take over my heart and my tongue, I pray in Jesus name. Help me intercede like I have never done before. 

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Part 1: Taking off Your Disquise!!

     True grace in its purest form is not a easy place to find and to stay in  that continual fellowship with the Holy Spirit...  Abiding in God's all-consuming presence is even paying a higher price in shredding that sin that easily entangles and suffocates our spirit.

     The grace of God is not a license to sin giving you free reign to do as you please...I believe that some Christians take that to mean that they can keep sinning.  Now that is nothing more than the worst kind of delusional thinking - by thinking you can get away with it, and calling it grace.  You will not escape the stronghold of whatever sin you believe you can get away with. There is no "easy grace" to lean on.  If you do not repent and ask and receive God's forgiveness you will not escape the wrath and destruction of sin's devastation.

     The grace of God does not exempt you from reaping what you sow, good or will reap the consequences of the results of the awful stain of sin within your soul...with out the shed blood of Jesus, there is no "remission" of sins. Only by that blood will we truly find grace. Only by that blood washing your soul will we find that stain completely healed and cleansed of all defilement.   The life and resurrection of Jesus Christ is the only truest form of grace we will ever see on this earth.

     Sin and the grace of God is very different, and can be related to tracking in mud on a freshly mopped floor. If you think about it, there is no such place in grace that the effects of sin can touch. Grace cannot look sin the face and vice versa. The two are vastly different.  I believe there is such a divine place in the sacredness of His grace that you will not desire to commit any sin or to continue in its destructive path.  YOU have to desire to get to the place of grace.   Sin affects the soul of man, grace washes it clean and sets you in place to be king and priests of the Most High God of Abraham, Issac, and Jacob!!!

     It is high time to take off those muddy boots before attempting to walk into you holy vocation -- the very holiness of God in all His grace! You are only robbing your own soul, and calling it grace when you so willingly give in to sin's destruction?

     What a tragedy waiting to happen to you! Such a travesty!!

     On a side note, I looked up the definition of travesty. Sometimes the Holy Spirit gives me tough words. This points me to the dictionary to get a picture of those words.  Here is what I found, and I believe it to be the truth.

     "A travesety is a cheap mockery, usually of something or somone serious, such as a travesty of justice.

     A travesty is a silly imitation, like a tall young man dressed up like a little old lady.  Travesty and transvestite both come from French travesti meaning "dressed in disquise," so it helps to remember the definition of travesty by thinking of that football player in drag.

     A travesty can be more than that, though.  A travesty of justice, for example, is a court case that makes a mockery of the system, or so you might think if the verdict isnt in "your favor."

      So let me give this to you straight... You are making a mockery of God, trying to justify your continual sinning, and disguising it as your own free grace. That reminds me of a hypocrite. I hope this makes you really think....that is the purpose I feel inspired to share this very strong word to you.

     In that sacred place of grace, you come to experience the eternal qualities of God and His abiding presence. You come to know His power and holiness and freedom  from the strongholds of sin's grasp. He gives us the power to say no and resist the temptation that would weigh us down in bondage.

--to be continued--

Monday, November 9, 2015

Healing Grace - Testimony

 What I don't tell people up front, is that I struggle with a mental illness.   I have received so much of a negative reaction in the past that only select few have known.  

     I have had 3 mental breakdowns since I was 22 years old. I have been in and out of  hospitals on various occasions. 

     In 2002 I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, after such a severe breakdown that left my marriage of twelve years in shambles.  That was very awakening and sobering day when I realized that I had a malady that could be treated.  

     I went without a diagnosis and medicine for many years.  It never occurred to me or anyone else around me, for me to get outside help from a doctor and take medicine for it.   Besides the point I had associated half my life in a denomination that believed you have to look for demons behind every corner...

     I can not spend my life afraid of the devil, God has given me a sound mind by me "taking my medicine" to combat and overcome all that the enemy can throw at me. 

     There is no sense for me to go into all of the details and try to pick apart those period of times when I had each breakdown.   What I can tell you is that I experienced excruciating mental anguish hearing audible voices yelling inside my mind and outside of my brain.  

    You might ask if I heard from God in all of that?  I want to say I did. I want to say I heard from angels during a very intensified moments in my life.  He led me in a different direction for a reason, to a treatment and counseling center, and I have been going to a doctor since then.

     He also lead me to get involved in a mental health support group that I have been attending since 2011.

     I have some to realize that I am not defined because of my illness. I haven't thrown in the towel so to speak, and given up on my life or who and whose I am. On the contrary, I am a child of the most highest Jehovah God. The same God of Abraham, Issac, and Jacob!    I believe Jesus did save my soul in 1982 and that one day I will cross over into heaven. I havent a shadow of a doubt there.

     I am now 52 years old, and there are still periods of time that I struggle with secluding myself and pulling away from relationships in the body of Christ.  I have days riddled with bouts of depression and anxiety, unable to cope with stress. In so many ways, I still live a sheltered existence, but I am doing better than I have in my younger years.  

     My Lord Jesus has brought so much peace and contentment into my mind and soul. He has helped me to get remarried since 2010 to a wonderful women who really understands my ups and downs because she is a nurse and ha seen my days of stuggle with this illness. 

     He has also set me into a great body of believers...I still have a great desire to be used by God to minister the grace that He has lavished on me and fulfill the calling on my life.  

    Many churches I have attempted to be apart of during those very trying years were not prepared to minister to me. Some have asked me to leave, others just was not equipped to handle people with a mental illness. Schizophrenia, for me has been a very silent killer, because I have such a difficult time with holding things in and not talking about what is going on inside of my mind..

     I do know that some of my sisters and brothers in Christ mean well when they ask me casual questions about "where I work."   I had to retire from the workforce world in 2002.  I  really have to reconstruct and watch what I say to avoid the stigma of getting shunned by the body of Christ.  I have been shunned, judged and rejected by church leaders and even members in the past. That is why I am so reluctant to share this testimony in church. It is part of my calling of the Lord to share my story though, not hid it. So for now the people who read my blog on the internet. I can only hope it will be received with support, and love and grace.

     The desire of my heart is to lead a quiet and serene life. I also desire to be used to serve and minister to those in the church body.  

     God's peace has soothed my heart and given me relief and tranquility from my illness by regularly staying persistent on a good treatment plan as well as staying diligent on taking my medicine. Plus the fact it gives me the space to work on my relationship with God, and to be soothed by His grace and peace.

     My prayer is that this makes you more aware of who I am and where I am at in this journey called my life, that you see the glorious and wonderful testimony of the healing hand of the Father's heart of grace!!

     My prayer is that you experience all that God has for you. Maybe you suffer mentally. You may be overcome by depression and anxiety.  You may be secluded. God desires to change all that. Come to Him and have true healing peace that surpasses all understanding!!


Nothing can Separate Us...

 No matter what you have gone through on this earth since the day you have been born - can rip you apart from the Father's heart. He has...